Saturday, April 3, 2010

Team Tiara


A lot of people have been taking sides on the whole celebrity scandal factory that is showbiz, whether it be "Team Aniston" or "Team Sandra" to profess their loyalty and support of a particular celebrity going through a bit of a rough patch. We've all hit a rough patch or two in our day, haven't we? Sometimes it is so hard to remember how fabulous one truly is when someone has just taken a metaphorical dump all-over your fabulousness. Therefore, whether it be death, divorce, desertion or disappointment, I propose you put a nice sparkly crown on your head and remember just who the hell you are.

Long before I read and participated in (to my regret) the "smashed" Potato Queens annual parade and soiree in Mississippi, I developed a particular fondness for wearing a tiara. Some of my earliest memories were making crowns with paper bags and crayons. Now I am sure the author of those books would like to keep all the tiara wearing to herself and her followers, but I believe the tiara truly belongs to the world. Therefore, I am here to bring the tiara wearing to the masses. It is time high time we declare sovereignty over ourselves and there is no more fabulous way to do it then by slapping a sparkly crown on our heads. Got to do something you don't want to do? Put your tiara on. Whether it is cleaning toilets, or cleaning up your life, put some sparklys on your head and remember who you are. Now I know Beyonce is all with that song about "...put a ring on it" but I say: "Ring-schming. Put a crown on it." Put a tiara and there will be no confusion amongst others with whom they are dealing. Don't just get one, you need at least a half-dozen or so. There's a gazillion of them on eBay. Most of them are a total bargain when you consider the dollar to glamour ratio imparted by a tiara. Also, as my dear friend Alisa reminds us, do not forget those less fortunate than yourself and remember to donate your old tiaras to charity.

Now on a note for that darling Sandra Bullock who has been so hideously treated: There is no need to hide your lovely face from the paparazzi because you married some fool. You have done nothing wrong. I say: "Sister, put a crown on your head and carry-on! Remember who you are." If anybody asks what team you are on say: "Team Tiara".

12 comments:

  1. Haha, I love the picture! I wear a tiara every year on my birthday and also have dressed as a child beauty pageant winner for Halloween. We're cut from the same glamorous cloth!

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  2. Well, I have a full-blown alter-ego: Jessica "Bunny" Glitter-Spank. My inner child is a drag queen. I have developed a somewhat disturbing attachment to the blonde floozy wig. Occupational hazard, I suspect.

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  3. *singin with my tiara on* "Diamonds are a girls best friend!"

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  4. I love wearing the tiara, it shows others whose really in charge....lol! You have given the perfect advice to Sandra or anyone else experiencing trials and tirbs in their lives.

    Happy Easter!

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  5. I'm heading out tomorrow to buy myself a tiara, and it's gonna be a big blingy mofo too.

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  6. Ha! Love your blog. Gotta get my foot in the door befor you become too big or us little people:)

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  8. Whoops! My tiara fell off, hit my keyboard and deleated my post. How do these things happen?

    Captain Dumbass: Does this mean I have to get a stupid pirate hat?

    Birdie: Welcome aboard!

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  9. I love this idea! Love the pink sparkle too! I am so going to have to get one.

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  10. I got my most fabulous tiara on eBay from some kiddie pageant that got cancelled. It you cannot find something to your liking there, here is another tiara source: http://www.acrowns.com/

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  11. Thank GOD for Stumble... 'cause I just stumbled on you. (ouch, hope it didn't hurt too much) Love your ramblings..

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