Sunday, June 20, 2010

Small People, Big Douche Bag


Dear Dumb Fucks:

You would think a company with the name "British" in its title would at least find somebody with a decent command of the English language to be its spokesperson. Perhaps BP simply has no freakin' clue as to how heavily armed the South is. Southerners as a whole are patient and polite people, but speaking for myself, I have just about had enough of BP's bullshit. This week I started seeing ads on T.V. explaining how BP really does give a crap about the disaster they have wrecked upon our nation. (A nation, by the way, made-up of mostly "small people" who got really sick of the "big people"--like BP-- screwing us back in the old country). BP can run the biggest damn PR campaign in the universe, but until they shut the bazillion gallons of oil belching into the Gulf of Mexico (and as a Florida girl I like to think of it as MY Gulf of Mexico) on an hourly basis I feel they should focus on fixing the fucking problem. I don't want to hear about how we need to get our nation off of its "addiction to oil" by a bunch of bullshit politicians trying to get a soundbite out of this situation. We have a saying in the South: "When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is hard to remember your initial objective was to drain the swamp." All the finger-pointing in the world is not going to shut-off that nightmare of oil spewing into what is a very delicate Eco-system. At certain times of the year, hotels and residences on the Gulf coast have to turn their lights off, or face hefty fines because hatching sea turtles may mistake the light for the moon and head inland instead of out to sea. Just how'dya' think they are going to fair with all this CRAP spewing in the water? Until BP shuts-off the oil, cleans and pays for the mess they have created, I REALLY don't want to know how much they CARE. As my mother used to say: "Actions speak louder than words." I already have a pretty good idea how much BP "cares" by the INACTION it took during the first few weeks of this crisis, where BP was primarily focused on finding someone else to blame for the ecological and economic crisis BP created.

Very truly yours,
One of the "small people"

8 comments:

  1. You said it sister. As a wannabe Florida resident, I am with you 100%. Let the voices of the small people ring out and keep on ringing until those BP's are running scared holding onto their britches for dear life!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am very impressed- this is very clear accurate and right on target-- just found you , by accident- but this is great

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband worked on an oil rig in college and they had to put in a SERIES of emergency shut-off valves when they were drilling on land. Is this not required off-shore where you would think it would be even more important? Why is nobody asking these questions?

    Look, I normally concern myself with burning questions like: "How many Kardashians can you fit on the head of a pin?" or "If a Kardashian fell in the forest would anybody hear them?", but I am a little spun-up over this oil thing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was outraged when all the Sunday morning pundits kept saying "America is addicted to oil or Americans are addicted to oil" like we were asking for it. That is so outrageous!! I commented to my husband that I am certainly not addicted to oil and I was damn tired of the news telling me that I am. He pointed out that I def. consume more wine than oil in any given week. Haha. Crap. Now I am mad and feel a blog post coming on!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, and I dont know if you deleted your Facebook blog post but the first part came up in my dashboard. I got off FB 2 weeks ago due to stupid ass family members. I feel like I lost 15 pounds and was released from county lockup at the same time. My FB was the same people saying the same stupid stuff over and over and over. Get a blog already if you have that much to say : )

    ReplyDelete
  6. I reposted the post after I tried to sleep on it and woke-up at 5:30 a.m. just as pissed-off as when I wrote it. We move a lot and have friends all over the world and FB is a wonderful way to keep in touch, BUT...!!!!

    I REALLY hate the phrase "addiction to oil".I am not addicted to oil -- my car is.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Turn off the music -- I want to read your blog, but I've got other stuff I want to listen to. At least put in a button where your readers have the option to turn off your music when they're listening to theirs. Otherwise, you've just lost a reader.

    ReplyDelete
  8. See the pink box at the bottom of the screen? There is a button with two lines. Click on it. It stops the music. This is a free program -- I have no idea of how to program it so you can turn-off my music and listen to your own. Sorry you don't like it, but If I wanted someone to tell me what to do, I would get a job instead of sharing my sparkling wit with the universe for FREE.

    Besides, I am in to pissing-off people this week that I would normally try to make happy. I am a little tired of trying to accomodate everybody's special whims -- FOR FREE. You see: "Joannafesto" is a whole gestalt. If you don't get my music, maybe you don't get me. Too bad for you!

    ReplyDelete